On December 15th I made the decision to begin a great adventure. But first I probably need to give you a bit of an update.
Lately my spiritual life has been feeling rather, blah. At first I attributed it to Facebook and all the negativity that has been getting thrown in all of our faces recently. (Don’t pretend that your news feed isn’t infested with post and adds that only make you more aware of how far we have fallen. Don’t lie to yourself.) It turns out that wasn’t the real problem. I thought maybe it had something to do with school or that I was working to much. Turns out that’s not what it was either.
What it was is that I had not read my Bible in over a month. Now, I know what you are thinking. Honey, if you felt like you were spiritually dry wouldn’t that be the first place you look? My answer is well, no. Because reading your bible and making sure you spend time with God takes work and I’m lazy and a terrible procrastinator. I’ll put it off again and again until it finally hits me what I have done… That I have given up my quiet time for a few more minutes of sleep, a few more minutes of this episode, five more mins of Facebook or homework. I’ll admit to you that last one gets put off more than it should too.
Now what I said about Facebook, school, working and whatever else is true. I give them to much attention. But, I can’t really blame them for where my spiritual life ends up. It is my personal responsibility to lay aside time to read and pray. I can’t help but think that I should joyfully look forward to this part of my day. That it should be the highlight of my day. When I come home after a long day should not be to flop onto the bed and watch 2 or 3 episodes of Chuck. It should be to my chair and talk to Him and to read about Him and discover who He really is.
Then I had a thought. If you died right this second would you go to heaven. My first thought was “yeah I think so”. It was followed by, “well aren’t his children suppose to want to spend time with him? Don’t they crave Him and seek to glorify him in everything they do?” I kinda shocked myself. I had been putting the most important relationship in my life on the back burner. Then I thought, “I don’t know if I would go to heaven.” And if the thought of burning in hell fire for eternity doesn’t make one realize the error in ones ways I do not know what else can. Hell FIRE y’all! That is just not how I want to spend eternity.
That’s not the only reason why I wanted to get back on track. I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life. Godly people who’s love for the Lord goes before them. I want my love for the Lord to go before me. I want people to see Him in me before they see anything else.
So, my plan for the next forty days is to begin another forty day challenge. I’m told it takes forty days to turn something into habit. I have tried to do this before but I always let something get in the way. So this time that is one of my goals to let nothing come before God. And of all the times I would decide to do it… It would be before Christmas. That’s where the challenge comes in I guess.
What do I hope to get out this.
First and foremost. A deeper love and understanding of who God our father is.
Secondly. To be content in where I am in life.
Thirdly. To focus on important things and not get distracted by less important things. Learn how to prioritize I guess.
Fourthly. To become less of a people pleaser because we were not put on this earth to please man.
Fifthly. To not notice boys. I can feel myself becoming desperate because when ever I see someone from the male species I have started thinking “are you the one.” It is absolutely the most ridiculous thing ever. I don’t like it. It all goes back to being content and at peace with where God has you in life. So, I’m kinda sorta not really becoming a Nun for forty days.
Wish me luck and pray for me! And if you want to do this with me feel free. I may post updates and then again I may not. I do promise to write a post at the end of this journey. If I ever get there.